If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize