We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring