im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it