I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
