Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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