So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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