Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
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I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
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I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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