Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in