new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.