I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....