What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4