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FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Randomize
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