Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.