What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
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apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
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Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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