Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
