i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa