I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit