I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.