u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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