Don't you send me to vm
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.