dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
