Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
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My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
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We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize