shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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