Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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