...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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