There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
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he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
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Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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