So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
