Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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