I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...