do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.