after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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