Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize