i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
and she was petting her beer can
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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