Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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