the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize