I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.