could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning