hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.