Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.