My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize