I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
only if we run a train.
done.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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