Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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