woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
