Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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