i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She bit a glass in half.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
