Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
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I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
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There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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