the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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