Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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