just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
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We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
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answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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