Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
