Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize