nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance