12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.