you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
