I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize