I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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