ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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