im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize