sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.