What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
