I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i need some magic done to my vagina
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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