I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize