Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
