Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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